Give them a choice
When we get to make a choice, we feel a little sense of empowerment, a little bit of control. If all our choices are made for us, that feeling of empowerment doesn’t exist. So often for our children many of their circumstances are out of their control. When they can exercise a little control through choice, perhaps we can let them.
So, let’s give our children choices. The key to empowering children with choices is to ensure that we, as the loving adult in their life, are ok with either choice. Otherwise, what’s the point? By giving a child two choices they get to pick one and have a sense of empowerment over their own outcome. So, what are the steps to choices:
Think about what your desired outcome is for the current situation.
Come up with two (not more) choices that you would be absolutely, no exceptions, ok with. Ensure that neither of your choices can be perceived as a threat. Threats aren’t truly choices. I like to think of my choices as two that I would be deliriously happy with. It’s an exaggeration but it helps me remember that I must truly be ok with either choice.
One of my favorite ways to offer choices is to begin my sentence with, “Feel free to either (insert choices here)?” Another great start is, “Would you rather (insert choices here)?”
Let the child choose. Sound easy? It can be hard.
With all our hard-earned wisdom we want to put in clarifiers, warnings and all sorts of parameters. We want to warn of the consequences and instruct how to think about the choices. Sometimes we even turn one of our two choices into demands or threats. Stop yourself. Let the child choose, keep calm and move on. Choices can be a win-win. For more information on parenting with choices take a look at the website: