Crap Chat about Mental Health
Achooo! When we sneeze, the social norm is that those around you say “Bless you” or “Gezuntite”. Sneezing is a normal part of life sometimes, especially when we have a cold. Even though we spew germs out with our sneeze, we are accepted and safe in doing so. Often someone will even hand you a tissue in a kind gesture. In fact, they say you shouldn’t try to hold a sneeze back.
But on the flip side, when we fart, you get met with either laughter, ridicule, or awkward silence and people pretending they didn’t notice. When someone releases a silent and deadly that can’t be traced back to the original gassy person…they usually try to move through crowds to dissipate the shame they might feel. Yet, farting is a normal part of the human body. The average healthy person farts 14 to 23 times per day.
I will never forget an experience I had in fifth grade. I had an incredible teacher, she was a complete hippy, and probably the coolest person I know. I went to a two-room school house in the boonies, and had 4 people in my class, and 4 grades in one room. We were sitting around on plastic chairs ready to indulge in some music…and from nowhere came this very loud fart which ricocheted off the plastic chair. I was horrified, as it had come from ME. There was no denying it. The class went silent, turned and looked at me, and burst out laughing. I felt such shame. But, something fascinating happened. After the class regained composure, my teacher sitting at the front of the room did something I will never forget. She leaned to the side, and ripped a big fart herself.
Again, the room went silent, but this time didn’t know what to do. Because this felt purposeful, it felt like a lesson. She went on to say, this isn’t health class, but farting is so normal, we all do it and it’s healthy to let them out. From now on, in this classroom, farting is acceptable, and we all need to embrace that. A few more little farts ricocheted off the plastic chairs around the circle, and a big smile spread across my face. My moment of traumatic social shame was healed. Nobody ever laughed again when the little farts fell out of us. My teacher may have overly-embraced the new rule herself as well. Something that was normal, was normalized. The stigma was completely changed with social embrace. We all do it, it’s normal.
I feel that when we talk about mental health, the response we often get is as if we just let a rumbling fart out. It’s awkward. Sometimes we make fun of it, and most often, try to pretend it’s not happening. Some people are gassier than others, and some people are experiencing emotional pain more than others. The more we talk about it, the more we embrace it as a society, and brave people talk openly about their own battles, we normalize it. I see so often when I talk with people about anxiety and depression, when I mention that I have experienced it too, a safe feeling comes over them and they open up to me. Just like when my teacher taught us the farting lesson, we feel safe and accepted. So, how do we do this as a society?
We provide safe places and safe people that are easy to access. We have brave people, whom we admire or relate to, stand up and tell their honest stories about their experience with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and how they are managing. We teach our young people, and model for them, how to have healthy conversations about social emotional experiences. These could be teachers, parents, families, friends, celebrities, and elected officials. We normalize it. We take the shame out of it.
Now, to be clear, I am not recommending that everyone just start farting, though I certainly will embrace it if you do it around me, because you are safe here. But, I am recommending that we acknowledge that the stigma is easily changed by embracing it, and normalizing it. One person at a time…and it can start with YOU.
Now, pull my finger.
About the author…
Barbie Collins Young
Life coach (liveitupcoach.com), youth mental health first aid trainer, and advocate for de-stigmatizing Mental Health. She works with youth and parents experiencing emotional and mental health issues or crisis. She also does parent and youth workshops to educate about mental health. Her work is focused around building positive coping skills, and creating healthy conversations and environments to talk about it.