Why did I do that?
Have you heard the phrase “Ignorance Is Bliss”? Or perhaps your more of the “Knowledge Is Power” school of thought. Either way I think we can agree that knowing ourselves is one of our greatest journeys in life. Unlearning the things we have been taught, changing our worldview or narrative about an experience. All of the things we process through journaling, counseling, over a cuppa’ tea with a friend, on walks or taking it our in the gym. But after all that work and intentionality we still miss things, make mistakes and react in ways that lead us to regret.
Why did I say that? Why did I think? Why do I keep showing up that way?
American business theorist and Professor Emeritus at Harvard Business School Chris Argyris came up with the term “Ladder of Inference” (see model below) to describe the process in our brains that leads up to take action. Argyris’s framework was develop to help understand how our brain wiggles convert a piece a information (side eye from the lady at the gas pump next to you, or snarky comment from teenage son, or well you get the point) and convert that into us taking action.
By understanding how we go from input to reaction we might create some mindfulness or increased control over disrupting the rapid fire process. Of course this process kept us safe from lions, tigers, and bears - oh my! But may not be as useful for modern day issues. If we apply this to a lot of the issues we hear in our world today we might be able to peel back the onion on how we develop our opinions and dare to develop new ones.
Next time you sit down for some “me time” take sometime to reflect on an event that your reaction was regrettable.
What information, stories, experiences lead you to come to the conclusion you did?
What stories are you holding that are no longer serving you?
Are you responding from a place of love? or a wound or trauma?
